


Heartbeats and Solace

by Alopex



Category: Bravest Warriors (TV)
Genre: Emotion Lord, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gift Fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:13:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alopex/pseuds/Alopex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There will always be those who will care for you, no matter what. Hurt/Comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbeats and Solace

**Author's Note:**

> (Slightly belated) birthday gift for the lovely missroxylablonde on tumblr! Hope you like it! :D
> 
> God, I haven’t written in first person in a really long time. I’ve also never written a fic in first person before. I’ve been reading many fics written in this style, though, so let’s give it a try.
> 
> Based on a personal headcanon that Chris's Emotion Lord powers take a serious emotional toll on him.
> 
> This was supposed to be a drabble but I got really emotionally invested whoops.

Sometimes, I just can’t take it.

There are days when I feel outright terrible. I’m supposed to be the strong one, the leader, the one with the most virtues. Oh, I have my openly weak moments, but those always seem to follow the hero trope, and that’s ok – what’s a hero without his flaws? But then again, flaws are excusable. But insecurities? What? Heroes don’t have insecurities, everyone scoffs. A hero’s downfall is a result of the his brash nature as he darts into danger, or that he falls too deeply in love with the pretty damsel in distress. Even hubris is expected, but regardless of his downfalls, a hero always has confidence in himself and his abilities.

I don’t.

I live in constant fear for myself and fear for the others. Ever since my first meeting with my future, Emotion Lord self, my powers have been growing each day. Sudden outbursts occur periodically, too often for my own good, and they cause me to forget myself. It’s a terrifying feeling, when you don’t feel like yourself, like some inner part of you is lost while some archaic element invades- no, violates your mind. Forces I can’t even begin to comprehend, even with my extensive knowledge of the natural world, wage war within my neural pathways as I struggle to overcome them so that I can at least hang on to a shred of sanity.

And the visions, God, the visions! Rarely do they ever make sense, weird flashes of silhouettes and swirling masses of limbs and torsos, timelines cut and pasted like a two year old’s arts and craft project. They’re downright terrifying, never making sense; I’ll see my friends torn apart and then put back together, looming, jagged shadows pacing like jackals, and the never-ending squirming of cosmic-borne worms, jaws gnashing as they hiss curses forsaking those who vanquished the great ones. These visions, attacking my mind in periodic outbursts one after another, have broken my calm disposition. 

Yet despite my inner torture, I still smile and stand tall, directing my team through all of our missions, proudly saving the universe one little chubby alien baby at a time. It feels good, of course; I wouldn’t trade my job for anything in the galaxy. But despite my general satisfaction with my life and openness with my friends, I rarely betray even the slightest hint of weakness to the others, and I’ve done a fairly good job at concealing my troubles. In fact, sometimes it’s actually bearable, and my newfound abilities have even helped us out on a few escapades. But much more lurks beneath the surface. Its swimming madness is consuming; no wonder future me was unrecognizable. I dread the day it becomes too much for me.

So far, I’ve somehow managed to handle it, despite my occasional breakdowns. In fact, the stress of my work subdues the effects. Blocking it out tends to happen naturally then, and if anything, I’ve been more absorbed in my career than ever before.

It’s when I’m alone that I feel the worst.

And it was during my lowest point when he found me.

I still remember that day. A terrible flurry of a vision had swept through me as I was lying in bed, trying to sleep. I curled in on myself, convulsing from the nauseating flashes. It was like a nightmare where nothing specifically terrible happens, but you’re flooded with the feeling of hopelessness and despair, as if no light would ever shine through into the darkness that all but consumes you.

I must have shrieked loud enough for someone in the hallway to hear. I heard a door hiss open in the distance, someone calling my name desperately, though muddled, as I was submerged in the lake outside the hideout. My bed sagged as someone crawled over next to me, clutching my twitching body close to their chest. Through the hideous whispers and groans that came in the visions, I heard, even felt a rhythmic beating, the constant pound of a human heart. It was like a safety cable with the solid promise of returning home. I held on to that hope, which remained my only foothold to reality.

The vision faded after a few minutes, but the heartbeat remained strong, steady. It was the most pleasant sound in the world; nothing was ever as reassuring as its resonating thud. I finally managed to blink a few times, opening my eyes to a red cloth. My cheek was pressed against a damp material, and I realized with some embarrassment that I had soaked it with a near endless stream of tears.

“You’ll be ok, you’ll be ok,” came a soft breath, a mantra, one that was meant more for the owner of the voice, unsure if I was able to hear yet. I dissolved into tears once more, not because of something I saw during my hallucinations, but because of the repercussions of the overwhelming information which had caused my senses to go haywire. I couldn't take it anymore; it was becoming too much for me to handle.

Somehow, being held was far more comforting than I imagined it to be. Whenever this happened, I would simply deal with it on my own, burrowing under my blankets as I sobbed the night away, or shrinking behind a corner of our spacecraft as I rode out the worst of the spells. Simply having someone there, someone who didn't question me, who seemingly instinctively knew just what I needed was the most comforting thing I ever had. I may have been cursed, but I was simultaneously blessed.

He pressed his lips to my forehead, and warmth spread through my entire body. My shoulders loosened slightly as I managed to lift my arms weakly and place them around his waist. He ran a hand through my hair, petting it in a soothing manner.

"It’s ok, it’s over now," he murmured. His voice was quiet, a slight bit deeper than his usual volume, yet oddly therapeutic. I didn't reply, simply pressing closer as my body trembled.

The lavender evening washed away into a starless night, yet he kept his vigil, eventually shifting back on my pillows while I was curled up in his arms, my face nuzzled into his neck. Somehow, through all my pain, the world finally faded into a quiet nothing.

I awoke the next morning, momentarily confused from having tightly wrapped arms around me and my eyes feeling incredibly sore until the events of last night hit me. I glanced up at Danny's peaceful expression. Not wishing to disturb the rest he missed out on because of me, I leaned into him and closed my eyes. Still asleep, his arms tightened around me, pulling me even closer. Surrounded by his warmth, my eyes closed on their own accord. I hadn't felt this safe, this cared for in so many weeks, perhaps even months. Few words had been spoken that night, but two things were certain – never again would I have to conceal and be ashamed of my fears, and never again would I have to deal with them alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Small minor reference to the Aeon Worm and possible disciples because who doesn’t like eldritch tentacle-like beasts of great cosmic potential. Also in AP Lit we are discussing themes of darkness and stuff so if you see a bunch of allusions in there it’s purposeful. I hope ya’ll enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this!!


End file.
